You know when you unexpectedly hear something and it zings through you-almost painfully-and hits a spot on the inside that you only access in those groaning prayers with the Lord?
This past Sunday we streamed a message given by a guest speaker at our soon-to-be home church in Kansas City (!!) and for the first time in a long time I was deeply impacted by the words that were shared. The “first time in a long time” didn’t come from eloquent words, convicting truth that leads to repentance, scriptural illumination or even the raw, mega-watt flash exposure of the beauty and glory of Christ…that has been the reality of our Sunday morning gatherings since we became long-distance loves with this church family.
This needlepoint lightning bolt smarted of something entirely different. HOPE. Insert eternity here, beloved-I-have-heard-you, hope. His timing couldn’t be more ideal. In the midst of a move across three states and leaving the comfort of family and familiar, Rick and I have revisited the ‘why’ that under-girds everything we do as a family more times than I could reflect on.
My internal dialogue has been about how to make the most of this move, to establish appropriate expectations, execute the moving plan effectively…you know, all that good, responsible ‘adulting’ stuff. In the corners, though, has been an echo of whispered, late night conversations, tear-stained heartbreak and loss and…hope.
Hope that His Kingdom come and His will be done. That we would live out deep, nourishing, sharpening relationships with people who passionately love Jesus. Who ache over injustice and are enlivened by reconciliation. Who live with eternal perspective.
An already-not-yet hope for His Church to wear koinonia like a familiar sweatshirt. To see koinonia-the deep knowing, the deep submission, the deep connecting, the deep trusting-in our natural family and our church family. I hunger for it.
Hearing the speaker’s explanation of the role of koinonia in the church and urgency of the need to go deep in knowing God, being known, and making him known meant two things to me:
1. I am not crazy for hungering for this flavor of heaven, and
2. Yep, this move is SO RIGHT for our family.
I feel the dust being kicked up around my heels and the burn in my chest from exertion as I’m running from the well of encounter to tell anyone who will listen that I know a Man who has spoken in grace and told me everything about myself, filling my hungry heart with koinonia hope.